The Adventures of Rogue and Logan on HAPPY PILLS
by Raven34link
Summary: this is a continuance of my fan fic 'The real reason Rogue fall in with Scott' and yes you have to read it to understand this fic, please enjoy
1. Chapter 1

**The adventures of Rogue and Logan on HAPPY PILLS**

**Ch.1**

**A.N: this is a continuance of my fan fic 'The real reason Rogue fall in with Scott' and yes you have to read it to understand this fic, please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING, I WISH I DID BUT I DON'T**

Rogue pulls out a pill bottle with little pink pills inside, she opens it and takes one out.

"ok Logan, these are called HAPPY PILLS, you can only take one at a tahme, trust me they're very effective" she says as she places the one in her hand into Logan's hand

"trust me kid, I can handle more then one" Logan said as he reached his hand out for another.

_Hmm he might make a great lab rat, ah always wondered what thah effects of two pills will have plus he has a healing factor so he can't overdose right?_ Rogue thought "ok" she hands him another and watches as he takes the two pills.

_**Logan this is the professor can you come to my office.**_

"sure Chuck" he said as he left the room

_Xavier's office_

Logan opens the door to see Ororo sitting in one of the chairs in front of Xavier's desk.

"oh Logan, please sit down, I was just finishing Rogue's paper work, I was hoping you would go to the brotherhood house with her tomorrow to get her things" Xavier said as Logan walked up to him.

Logan started to sniff the prof. "mmmm chuck you smell greeeaaaat, do you use colon?"

"umm yes I do it's French, you like it?" Logan continued to bath in the Professor's aroma, while Storm just stares with a confuse look on her face.

KNOCK KNOCK

"come in" the Prof. called out, Rogue walks in wondering about the effects of the pills "hello Rogue is there anything I can help you with?" Xavier asked as Logan got closer and started purring.

_Ah can't believe he's purring _Rogue thought as she bursted out laughing at the sight before her

Xavier and storm just stared at her with a 'wtf is she laughing about' look on their faces. "sorry bout that just remembered something funny" she said with an apologetic look

"it is quite alright, so what brings you here?" the prof. asked with a gentle smile.

_Damn ah just wanted tah see Logan's reaction, gotta think of something quick_ "ummm ah was just thinking, do ya know any ways tah control mah powers" _great save happy pills._

"I'm afraid not, but I will tell you if I think about anything" another gentle smile while Logan started rubbing his head on the top of the prof's head as Logan said "honey" sweetly

"umm ok thanks, ah….ah think Logan is really tired maybe he should go ta bed" Rogue said then grabbed Logan's arm and started dragging him away.

"yes I agree, I shall speak to you later Logan" Xavier said, once they left Ororo turned to him

"I think he's drunk again" Ororo said

"yes I believe you are correct, and I think Rogue was trying to cover for him" Xavier said, Ororo nodded in agreement.

_Rogue's and Kitty's room_

"see thahts why ah told ya ta only take one!" Rogue yelled with her hands on her hips

"awwww I didn't even get to the fun part" Logan frowned

"go ta bed now!" she narrowed her eyes 

"wait! I've got an idea" Logan said with a evil smirk on his face.

_The next morning_

The evil duo heads for the professor's office both also took two happy pills before starting their devious mission. They walk in, Rogue stands in front of the mahogany desk while Logan stands to the right of Xavier.

"oh there you two are, Logan I was hoping you would go with Rogue to the brotherhood house to help her pick up her things" Xavier said looking at Logan who was leaning against the window, while he was preoccupied with Logan Rogue takes advantage and slips two happy pills into the professor's coffee.

"sure thing chuck, lets go stripes" Logan held the door open for her (A.N: the happy pills helped him think of the nickname)

"stripes?" Rogue asked confused

"yeah I give everyone a nick name" Logan answers

"oh ok" they walked out the door with a chestier cat grin as they leave Xavier drinks his coffee not knowing that it's been spiked.

After a few minutes our favorite duo( or at lest my favorite duo) arrive at their destination the brotherhood house.

Logan kicks the door open "honeys, I'm home"

"but ya never lived here" Rogue corrected

"shut up" Logan replied

"go fuck yourself"

"wait you can do that?" Logan asked, Rogue just shrugged

"hey what are you x-geeks doing here?" Lance asked as he walked in from the living room.

"one: we're here for mah stuff and two: you need a chill pill or better yet a happy pill" she hands him two pills

"what the heck are these?" Lance asks

"lahke ah said Happy pills" Rogue answered

"there greeeeeeeeeaaaaaat" when Logan said it he looked like he just peed after holding it for hours

Lance was a little freaked but took them anyway "wow" he said a few minutes later with a smile

"ah think the others should have some tah" Rogue said walking into the living room

"what are you doing here yo?" Toad asked hoping up to Rogue

"ta give ya'll happy pills" she said with a giant smile

after handing two to each boy she ran up stairs to Mystiques room and kicked the door open to reveal Magneto, Mystique and Sabertooth

"see I told you two this ain't a great place for a secret meeting" Sabertooth glared at the other two

"don't care just take some of these" Rogue handed them two Happy pills each except for Sabertooth he got three

"why should we trust an x-man?" Magneto questioned

"cuz" she simply said

"oh all right I guess thats good enough for me" the three evil mutants swallowed the pills

"mah work here is done" she said smiling but before she could leave a naked Sabertooth ran past her and jumped out the window "hey ah was gonna do thaht" she frowned then went to her old room and got her stuff

when she got to the living room she saw Toad and Blob making out on the floor and Lance, Pietro and Logan were giggling as they watched

"the dirty deed is done" she announced in an Irish accent

"your Irish?" Lance asked shocked

she just shrugged "c'mon Logan lets go have more fun" she says with a twisted grin "ah'm driving"

before he can say anything shes on the bike ready to go so he just hops on behind her

with that the two speed off to cause more mischief

**A.N: k thats it for this chappie, tell me in a review if theres any other characters you want to see on happy pills or if theres a certain thing you want anyone to do, Thanks For Wasting Your Time Reading This and Review ^^**


	2. Chapter 2

**The adventures of Rogue and Logan on HAPPY PILLS**

**Ch.2**

**A.N: warning I will deify the laws of physics, and no i'm not on happy pills while writing these but I can't say the same about the lizards giving me ideas, oh and HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!**

Rogue and Logan arrive at the Institute in seconds thanks to Rogues crazy fast driving which almost got Scott run over when they drove up the steps

"WHAT THE HECK!" Scott yelled from where he sat on the floor "you two almost killed me!"

"tah bad" Rogue said getting off the bike "we were so close ta hitting ya"

he looked at her with fear written all over his face, seeing this she took out two Happy Pills and shoved them into his mouth "swallow" she demanded

he did as told so Rogue and Logan walked inside "so who's next?" Rogue asked

"hey guys" Jean said walking towards them, she frowned when she saw the evil smiles on their faces

"hey Jean" Rogue said cheerfully "haven't ya been having problems sleeping?"

"yeah I have"

"here take these ya look lahke ya need a nap" she handed her two pills

"thanks" she smiled before taking the pills then going back upstairs

"hey stripes"

"yeah?" Rogue asked turning to him

"fourth of July party?"

"hell yeah" her eyes glistened "we're gonna need a shit load of firecrackers, some fried chicken-"

"why fried chicken?" Logan looked confused

"ah lahke fried chicken" she explained then continued with her list "some hot guys, soda, really sugary candy and more happy pills"

"i'll go buy things"

"ah'll go get more people on happy pills then get some hot guys"

"ya gonna dress up like a hooker to get em?" Logan asked excitedly

"no, watch" she went upstairs and came back with a baseball and a bat "follow" she commended as she walked outside to see Scott humping his car which made the two giggle

"ok now watch" she tossed the ball up and got ready to swing

as the ball began to fall she swung with all her might then let go of the bat not even hitting the ball and watched it fly high over the gate

_in town_

a young man wearing a trench coat was riding on his motorcycle when a baseball bat hit a street lamp which fell on his bike catapulting him into the sky

_back at the mansion_

the two stood there until a man in a trench coat fell from the sky

he pulled his motorcycle helmet off "que le fait de baiser est juste arrivé ?(what the fuck just happened?)"

Logan's eyes widen "wow are you magic?" he asked Rogue

"idk, hey ya wanna come ta our fourth of July party?" she asked the hot guy who fell from the sky

"is a belle femme lik' yo goin' be dhere"

"sure why not" she said not knowing what he said

"Remy hav' a fellin' he goin' be stalkin' yo"

"cool mah first stalker! here take these" she gave him two happy pills "do ya know any other guys who lahke fireworks and wanna come"

"oui Chere Remy will call his ami Pyro" he said then swallowed the pills with that the three went their separate ways

_with Rogue_

Rogue walked back into the institute leaving Logan with the shopping, the hot guy known as Remy to make his calls and Scott humping his car

she walked into the kitchen and found Ororo making a sandwich for lunch

"good afternoon child" Ororo greeted

"hey" Ororo turned leaving her sandwich to get a drink so Rogue placed two happy pills in the sandwich

"did you get your things?"

"yep then Sabs jumped outta window naked but ah wanted ta do it but it was still funny" she replied happily

the older woman just stared at her for a few minutes "i see and where was Logan?"

"watching toad and blob make out"

Ororo looked as though her eyes were going to pop out

Rogue laughed at the look on her face then left the room, Ororo stood there for a long minute then started eating her lunch muttering something about Logan being drunk and giving Rogue beer

_with Logan_

Logan walked into wal-mart rubbing a nonexistent beard thinking of what they needed for the party

so not to forget he started singing what he needed "need some firecrackers ta ta ta then fried chicken la la la get some sodys da da da don't forget the candy na na na" he continued singing this throughout the whole store which freaked out all the shoppers

he finally finished getting everything he needed there but decided to continue to sing it all the way to KFC

_with Remy_

"yeah Remy telling yo dheres lots of hot femmes here dat what mon Cherie said"

"_i keep telling you, you have the wrong number!"_ said whoever was on the phone in a British accent

"just get over her' John"

"_for the hundredth time my name is MARY FRICKING POPPINS!" _she yelled then hung up

"how rude" he said looking at the phone "maybe Remy should try again" then dialed a number

"_'ello?"_

"hey John do ya wanna go te da party or not?"

"_Oi don't know mate oi was planing on using my new lighter"_

"yo can use it at da party mon ami, dhere be firecrackers"

"_i'm there mate"_

_back with Rogue_

Rogue walked upstairs and found the professor doing wheelies with his wheel chair and Kitty, Kurt and Evan looking a bit worried which she dismissed and hopped onto the back of the wheel chair

"WOAH GO FASTA OLD MAN!" she yelled excitedly

"where the hell is that albino that runs fast when you need him?" Xavier pouted

"Rogue shouldn't we like stop him?" Kitty called out

"ya'll are no fun here take these" she handed them some pills when the Prof passed them

"i'm not zaking pills" Kurt complained

"take them or you'll be grounded" Xavier exclaimed

"vhat but but-"

"i don't want to hear about your butt" he said heading dangerously close to the stairs so Rogue jumped off pushing him down them while the three took the pills

"!" he landed flat on his face and began to cry "MY LEGS MY LEGS I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"

"but ya paralyzed" Rogue called out from the top

"oh thats right" he looked a bit embarrassed but that was only for a second "HA I DARE YOU PUSSYS TO DO THAT!"

"maybe later old man ah got a party ta start"

**A.N: next chapter the party, hope those that wanted Scott on Happy Pills enjoyed those small parts but don't worry there be more next chappie like last time if you want to make any requests tell me in a review or in a private message oh and HAPPY FORTH OF JULY! **


	3. Chapter 3

**The adventures of Rogue and Logan on HAPPY PILLS**

**Ch.3**

Rogue ran downstairs, passed the Professor who was still on the floor and ran outside to check on the smoking hot Cajun making calls

"HEY HOTIE!" she yelled

"HI CHERE!" he yelled back

"WHY ARE WE YELLING?!"

"REMY DON'T KNOW!"

"THIS IS FUN!" said a guy in a red and black jumpsuit

the two turned and just stared at him till they got bored a second later

"here"Rogue handed him two happy pills

"yay candy" he said tossing them into his mouth "hey is Jimmy here?"

"who?"

"Jimmy the guy with the claws"

"oh he's buying shit"

"why would he buy shit? He can make it himself"

"maybe he's constipated" said Remy the smoking hot Cajun

"yeah" said Rogue who then turned to the unknown guy "hey what is ya name?

"Deadpool"

"what is ya quest?"

"to bother Jimmy"

"what is ya favorite color?"

"ummm I don't know"

"COOL ya invited ta our fourth of July party"

"a forth of July party in December? Will there be candy?"

"yes"

"ok lets go!" said Deadpool before running into the mansion and jumping on the Professor's back

"yes my life long dream of becoming a trampoline is coming true" said the Professor happily and looked down at the floor **1**"SEE MOM I SAID I COULD DO IT!"

_flashback_

"_MOM!" yelled a young vision of Xavier back when he could walk and had a full head of hair_

_his mother was sitting at the table drinking tea and ignoring Charles_

"_MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM!"_

"_WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!"_

"_one day I'm going to become a trampoline" he said proudly _

"_no one day your going to be a bald guy in a wheelchair who has to lie to kids to get them to wear tight fitting outfits because you'll be a pedophile, it's all here in the comics"_

_end flashback_

Rogue looked from the professor to Remy then back to the professor and finally looked back at Remy "hmmm somethings missing"

"Quoi?" he asked

she scanned him up and down "oh ya gotta take ya shirt off and jump on thah trampoline ta make ya look sexier"

"ok" he said as he did what she told him to do

thats when Logan came in and saw the shirtless Cajun jumping on the professor "woaw thats hot" he said

"yeah but its even hotter in slow motion" Rogue said as the scene went into slow motion

"oh yeah thats way better"

the duo stood there watching for about ten minutes before Scott came in and announced "i think my car is pregnant"

"IT WASN'T MEH AH SWEAR!" Rogue yelled looking from side to side

"how do we know that?" Logan asked looking at her "we've all seen how you look at one eye's car"

"ya got no proof" she said proudly

"non all we 'ave te do is go on one of dhose TV shows where they find out who the baby's daddy is and then they all get into a brawl" said Remy while staring at Rogue and still jumping

"hey mate why are ya jumping on another guys back?" they all turned to see a man with spiky orange hair and flame thrower on his back standing in the door way

"no tahme just take these and let's go" Rogue said shoving two happy pills into his mouth and walked out the door

_on the stage of 'Who's the Daddy?so he could start paying fucking child support already!'_

Applause could be heard throughout the building as the host of the show walked in

"Hello everyone I'm Dr. Phillips the host of 'Who's the Daddy? So he could start paying fucking child support already!'" he said happily "on todays show we're going to fined out who impregnated Scott's car"

the crowed cheered as Scott's car came onto the stage and parked next to some chairs

"ok and here are the possible daddy's" at that the crowed booed as Rogue, Logan, Remy, Deadpool, Pyro, and Emma Frost, who was pushed onto the stage, sat down in the chairs on the opposite side of the stage from where Scott's car parked.

"now Scott's car tell us-"

"don't listen ta thaht ho!" Rogue yelled as she stood up reveling that she was wearing a white suit and supporting herself on a cain with a diamond on top "she nothing but a dirty ho thaht should be working!"

"your a pimp?" Logan asked with wide eyes

"no, Ah'm a mistress"

"so your dating a married man?"

"no ya idiot!" she yelled then hit him in the head with her cain "a mistress is a girl version of a pimp" she said sitting back down

"oh" was all Logan said

"ok" Dr. Phillips said while smiling "now Scott's car, tell us what happened?" everyone looked at the car

silence "ok this is what happened"

the scene changed to when the car was parked outside in black and white

_Flashback in Scott's car's POV_

_I had just got home from a job when_

"_where mah money ho?" Rogue appeared_

"_I don't have it yet but I'll have it tomorrow" I told her_

"_bitch whaht ah tell ya last tahme, ya late with mah money one more tahme and ah'm gonna make ya suffer" she took a_ _step closer to me_

"_now where mah money!" she said angrily_

"_pl-please i-i don't have it but I'll pay it with interest" I start backing up_

"_Ah don't care about no interest ah just want mah money!" another step closer_

"_i-i-i I'm sorry i-"_

"_sorry?" an evil grin appeared on her face "not as sorry as ya gonna be ho"_

_She snapped her fingers and Logan, Remy, Deadpool, Pyro and Emma Frost appeared out of now where all only dressed in white underwear with white masks that only covered their eyes and black bow ties _

_End of flashback_

"that is utterly ridiculous, none of that ever happened" Emma Frost stood up "and the car isn't even talking, it's just Scott hiding in the car speaking"

At that point Scott stood up from his hiding spot in the front seat of the car "that's a lie!" he yelled out

"yea, besides the car is a Sheila and had a Sheila's voice during the story and he is NOT a Sheila so there" Pyro said standing on his chair

"yeah!" everyone else, including the audience, agreed and sat back down including Emma who was mumbling to herself

"now that that is settled, please continue Ms. Scott's car" Dr. Phillips said looking back at the car

Scott went back to hiding and continued from where he- I mean she left off "then they all beat and raped me so I don't know who the father is" she began to cry

"well don't worry thats why your here! Now Doctor why don't you tell us ' Who's the Daddy? So he could start paying fucking child support already!'" he and the audience yelled that last part

The doctor( who was really Lance in a mechanics outfit) walked onto the stage popped the hood of the car and checked it's oil

"ok are you ready to fined out who the father is?" Doctor Lance asked

"YES!" everyone yelled in anticipation

"ok ok the father is.." dramatic pause "Magneto!"

silence

more silence

"WHAAAAAT!" Emma yelled "are you kidding me he wasn't even there"

"yes he was" the car said

_Flashback_

_She snapped her fingers and Logan, Remy, Deadpool, Pyro and Emma Frost __and Magneto__ appeared out of now where all only dressed in white underwear with white masks that only covered their eyes and black bow ties_

_End of flashback_

"see"

"you just added that!"

"no I didn't"

"yes you did"

"no I didn't"

"ok so that ends this episode of ' Who's the Daddy? So he could start paying fucking child support already!' see you next week when we fined out who Remy's daddy is"

The crowd went wild with excitement as the show ended

_Back to the mansion_

"so it was Magneto, just as ah thought" Rogue said this time dressed up like Sherlock Holmes and smoking a pipe or whatever that thing is called "now arrest him" she then pointed at Magneto as he walked in through the gates

"no! How did you figure it out?" Magneto asked staring down her and her merry men

"it was elementary for meh and mah dear Watson" she said looking to Logan then back to Magneto "now sick 'em Deadpool!"

Deadpool pulled out his katana's and started chasing Magneto all over the yard

"ahh another job well done aye Watson" Rogue said still smoking

"yep" Logan chimed as the duo walked away to continue their preparations for the party

**A.N: Thank You For Wasting Your Time To Read This ^^**

**1: if you haven't figured it out its like he is saying his mom is in hell**


End file.
